Bad breath

Is there any reason for it?

That I understand - I have never had bad breath. Or at least no one has ever told me.

I replace my tooth brush every 3 months.

And brush my teeth twice daily, floss and use mouth wash.

I keep to 6 monthly check ups at the dentists.

But my friend seems to think it is acceptable not to go to the dentist. He waits until he has a tooth ache.

I think it must be 10 years since he last went!

I write this now because I think it is getting out of hand.

There is an aura of stink that follows him around.

I swear the room has filled with this stink also. I went out of the room and just come back in.

It smells.

What can I do?

Dont you hate it when they kick the back of your seat in the movies!

I went to see a movie recently.

What movie? That is irrelevant!

What is relevant was the little shite sitting directly behind me!

At one point I wanted to strangle him!

OK so it wasn't a constant bang, bang, bang, bang..

Because if it was - I would have lost control and lashed out. He would have got hurt. I would have got arrested.

..But it was more of an irregular bang, bang like he was tossing and turning during the film; trying to get comfortable / turning to talk to a friend / dropping things..

Regular in its irregularity..

Thinking about it - I have also had the same trouble on a flight as well as on buses and trains..

Maybe I attract these idiots?

I may have to say something next time.. - but what can I say?

Saying it 'pristine' when it wasnt!

I went to see a car last night.

The advert claimed that it was in 'pristine' condition.

I don't know about you, but to me the word 'pristine' means something is in great condition.
Maybe even better than great. Perhaps showroom condition?!

At worse case scenario I expected great condition..

The pictures from 10 feet looked good anyway so I planned the viewing..

Well I was disappointed.

Not only for the travel time it took for me to view the car.
But that I gave a friend some cash for fuel..
And I now owe him a favour!

The car was not 'pristine'

The car wasn't even in 'great' condition!

It was barely average condition..

I let the seller know this fact and that I wasn't happy with his description..

I pointed out several deep scratches / scuffs and rust patches!

What an idiot!

Another summer of false promises at Arsenal?

Now this is the headline from 'The Sun'

I'm not sure who I am more pissed off at yet?

Am I more pissed off at 'The Sun' for printing such a thing? As I don't want to read such a thing!

I want to believe that this is the summer for Arsenal. That this is the summer of top signings. so that we can once again be champions... of something! ....Anything! I will even take the league cup!
Yes I am that desperate for Arsenal to win silverware that I will accept the league cup..

Or is it that I am more pissed off with Arsenal.

Dear Arsenal
I love you
But please no more bullshit and spend some money! We; the supporters need to see some action!
...Soon!

Here is the full story.

MY VIEW
By MARK IRWIN
Football correspondent

 

 

 

WHEN I woke up in my Japanese hotel this morning there were three text messages from Arsenal fans on my phone.

Two were asking for news of any possible signings, the other was already calling for the heads of Arsene Wenger and Ivan Gazidis.
And so it begins. The annual Emirates tap-dance. In which the club promises the earth then delivers Andre Santos and Maraoune Chamakh.
We have been here so many times before that even the most optimistic Gunners fans have stopped allowing their hopes to be raised.
Except this time it feels somehow different. A line has been crossed and Wenger will no longer be allowed to backtrack.
He has promised stellar signings this summer and he has to deliver them. If he breaks his word again, no-one will trust Arsene.
Travelling with the club these past two weeks on their pre-season tour of the Far East, it is evident that it is not just the supporters demanding proper, big-name buys.
Everyone within the club is also convinced that Wenger is about to break the habits of a lifetime and spend some money as though it is not coming out of his own pocket.
Even the players are asking what we have heard. They are every bit as eager for an injection of new blood.
All these expectations have been raised by an interview which chief executive Gazidis gave last month, when he spoke of the club’s new ‘financial firepower’ and their ability to compete for the very best players in the world.
Many believe his words were deliberately chosen to apply some pressure to the cautious Wenger.
It is why Arsenal have been heavily linked with the likes of Luis Suarez, Wayne Rooney and Gonzalo Higuain in recent weeks.
But there is only so many times that we can write ‘Arsenal are set to make a new bid for Suarez’ before a sceptical public switch off.
For if Arsenal were serious about buying the Liverpool striker, they would have gone straight in with an offer which Brendan Rodgers could not refuse rather than submitting a bid which they knew was certain to be rejected.
Now it appears Wenger is relying on Suarez throwing his toys out of the pram and forcing his way through the Anfield exit. Though whether he could be any more objectionable is open to debate.
Wenger is certainly not giving anything away right now. He refuses to discuss any potential targets and seemed to take great delight in knocking down reports that he was about to sign Brazilian midfielder Bernard the other day.
Gazidis, too, has gone strangely quiet in recent days. We keep hearing rumours that he is flying back to London to seal this or that deal, but he is still out here in Japan and feels he has already said more than enough.
It is a good job for him that Manchester United have also failed to land any of their big-time targets so far this summer while Chelsea have yet to prise Rooney from Old Trafford.
And maybe Arsenal will yet surprise us all by unveiling a new superstar in the next few days.
But I wouldn’t hold your breath if I were you.
A week on Saturday, Arsenal face Napoli in the Emirates Cup. If Yaya Sonogo is the only new face on show for the Gunners, expect fireworks.
Wenger is already into the final year of his £7.5million-a-year contract and has stretched the supporters’ loyalty to its limit.
A storm is brewing and Wenger had better get his brolly out.


Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/5029560/Arsenal-transfers-look-like-false-promises-again-MARK-IRWIN.html#ixzz2Zs5T9fIv

Royal baby expected!

Is it big news or no? I am unsure.. 50/50 if you will..

Reading the papers and listening to the radio today it seems the only topic worth talking about is the impending birth of our future King or Queen.

I guess it is big news so some?

And not so much to others..

I am not to fussed to be honest.. I guess i am somewhere in the middle.

I dont agree with people slating the story though - I just unfollowed a couple of these Anti-Royalist types on twitter because of what there opinion on it was..

I will give my guess on sex and name though.

I definitely think it will be a girl..

And perhaps called Elizabeth Diana Windsor..

Lets see..

There are now no winnners at sports day??

What does this teach children?

That winning does not matter? Everyone is equal?

The fact is we are not all equal!

Some can run faster than others - so let them race and win!

Some can jump higher than others - so let them jump and win!

Some can throw further than others - so let them throw and win!

Not allowing children to push themselves to win at sports days will trickle down to everything else in life.

Why try hard in your exams? We are all equal?

Why try hard at getting a better job? We are all equal?

We are not all equal.

Some things we are better than others at.

Some things others are better than us.

Bring back Sports day.

She used my towel to dry her feet!

We were in a rush this morning.

She spends an age doing her make-up so I tell her to get into the shower first..

I tell her to leave the shower running which she remembers this time.

I run in after her and have my shower. It was a nice hot one.

Then as I reached for my towel in my normal towel resting place I just grabbed at air!

I looked down and she had used it to dry her feet and mop up the water that had spilled onto the floor!

I shouted out and called her some names... Plus shouting for a new towel..

Guess what - her hair dryer overpowered my screams and I was left to drip dry.

I used an old flannel to dry myself!

Not happy!

Are all waiters idiots?

I went to the local Harvester restaurant - I know. Very posh.

On arrival, my missus and I stood at the sign saying 'Please queue here to be seated'

Pretty simple right.

A waiter notices us waiting at the sign.

He wanders over casually and ask 'Would you like a table?'

I smiled and said 'Yes please'

Inside my head I said 'No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please!!'

The idiot.

Dont ask!

I know someone that whenever asked how he is doing replies with - DONT ASK!

..before proceeding to advise how bad his day is going and how busy he is etc etc blah blah.

The person asking normally gives a chuckle?!

Trust me they wouldn't be laughing if you hear it some 20 time a day!

The idiot.

When the bin men dont turn up

My local authority are generally good in my opinion.

But when I get myself up at the crack of dawn to take the bins out and they don't turn up I get angry!

They can come anywhere between 7am and 11am.

Of course this means I get up extra early bin day and get the bins out before 7am.

Its annoying when they don't come until 11am on the odd occasion, but I will suffer that.

Its just that recently they haven't been turning up at all! And then coming the following day...

We don't like to leave the bins out over night as the bags get attacked by Cats and Foxes etc!

Anyway - Perhaps a lame rant.

I hate bin men.

The idiots.

Dont you love walking along the street and someone just stops right in front of you!

When commuting you just want to get to your destination in as easy and as quickest way possible.

Same for if you go shopping etc..

But as you are walking along the idiot in front decides to just stop in the middle of the path!

I don't know why they do this? Maybe they forgot where there were heading or maybe spotted something interesting to look at?

But you either crash into the back of them or are forced to go around them.

I dislike either variation.

What I want to do is shove them to the side as that's where their destination should have been if they wanted to stop.

Not standing still in front of moving traffic!

Idiots.

Cracking knuckles is horrible!

I don't like it when people crack their knuckles.

Or even if they click / crack any other part of their bodies for the same matter!

I have a friend who knows this.

And because he knows this; he like to mess with me.

So I will be sitting minding my own business and he will come up behind me and crack his knuckles next to me head!

I do lash out and try to hit him but he is too fast and moves out of the way.

Also whilst talking to me he decides to crack his neck!

This nearly makes me gag.

Doesn't he know he will get arthritis!

The idiot!

Waiting at Gatwick like an idiot

I am waiting at Gatwick airport as I write.

The first reason for a moan is it is past midnight so I should be in bed.

The second reason for a moan is that the flight is delayed.

I am not happy

I am tired

I am bored enough to write this post

That is all

Sharknado

I have read a lot about this new 'fantastic' film called 'Sharknado'

I should have known just from the name of this film that this was to be FAR from fantastic!

I decided to watch it as I had nothing better to do.

The beginning credits had Tara Reid's name first to suggest her as the main character.
She was not the main character.

She was a small part. Poorly acted.

OK so its 'just a film' - But Tornados picking up sharks and firing them out at people all over LA is just plain ridiculous!

And then dropping bombs into the tornados to disperse them... I have no words.

I give it 1 star out of 10.

Its a hour and a half I shall never get back.

I do not recommend this film.

Schools should teach how to raise a family and how get a real job

I can find the area of a triangle because I am just that clever.

But is it really relevant in our real lives today?

What I did not get taught was how to be a good parent.

Or how to get a good job.

And what to expect whilst at a job...

I can remember all of us completing a computer generated job check at school.

It was a 1-5 selection of agree - disagree on stupid question..

IE - Do you like art? I selected 1 for yes I do..

This 'special' program spat out that I should be an Architect.

The problem was that I was said to be an Architect along with about 40% of my class!

There was also 30% Doctors and the remaining sports persons..

The reality is that we all got a generic office job.

Where was the advice from school about real jobs?

Why leave litter right next to the bin

Some people need a kick up the ass!

OK granted the majority of these offenders are probably teenage kids?

There are recycling bins for glass bottles or plastics etc.  Plus plenty of general waste around for you to place rubbish.

Or what you should do when there isn't a bin - is to keep the rubbish in your pocket...!

But how lazy or stupid do you have to be to throw the rubbish on the ground NEXT to a bin!

They really are idiots.

Forgetting passwords!

I don't forget passwords as I am not an idiot.

I don't have 1 password for all. I have several to remember but I just remember them.

I am though surrounded by stupid people that forget their passwords on a regular basis!

WHY!?

How hard can it really be?!

This is what you should do..

You take a memorable word to you and then set different variations of spelling or adding different numbers in the password.

That is it..

These people try to create funky hard to guess passwords but then they are also hard to remember..

Idiots

Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney was on both the front and back of the newspapers this morning!

OK he plays for perhaps the biggest Football club in the world in Manchester United.

But does his future really warrant both front and back of the papers though?

Surely there are more pressing world matters to write about?

Or s that what people are worried about these days perhaps?

To be honest - I would take him at Arsenal but there are better players that I would prefer eg Higuain!

Will he stay or will he go?

What do you think?

I hate late trains

I hate anyone or indeed anything that is late.

Trains are a large culprit of pain for being late.

When I have an appointment I set my journey to arrive on time.

So when the public transport fails me I get angry.

Of course I cannot fight the train as the train will win.

I cannot fight the train operators because, well, shite happens. Trains are sometime late.

What I can do is rant here!

Trains are idiots!


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He couldnt finish the joke!

I have a friend who thinks he is funny.

He learned of a new joke last week and tried to tell me it.

He failed.

He thought it was so funny that whilst trying to tell me the joke he just stopped to cry with laughter.

It could have been a funny joke had he told it properly.

In between breathes the joke was split into about 5 portions and was dragged on over 5 times as long.

Shame really.

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He must be deaf right?

It was busy but not too noisy.

It wasn't like we was in a pub or nightclub or anything.

But during the conversation my friend kept asking me to repeat myself? Or just saying 'What'?

I repeated myself a couple of times as I was trying to get my important point across..

After the 3rd 'what?'

..I just said 'never mind'

And gave up..

I think for Christmas I will be buying him a hearing aid.

The deaf bastard.

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No toilet paper left!

Crude possibly

But I got into trouble this morning when I urgently needed to use the toilet.

Checking to see if there was toilet paper before I pulled down my trousers didn't enter my mind.

It was only when 5 seconds later that I noticed the empty roll!

I panicked.

I had to find a substitute.

I am not be able to advise the rest of this story.

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she didnt want any!

..and then wanted some of mine!

I was hungry.... Im always hungry..

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of Doritos - my favourite!

Whilst standing there I asked her do you want a bag?

She said nah she is not hungry.

I sat back down in the living room to enjoy the Doritos..

She says Can I have one?

I say No - Your not hungry. I just asked you of you wanted any!

She says I know but now I see them I want one. I only want one!

I give her one.

She asks for another!

I say get your own fecking bag!

She gets the hump?

Good!

My Doritos!


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KTVU News are fricking idiots!

I don't even know how many people it must have gone through but even the reporter whilst reading them out didn't pick up on the silly names someone had advised the channel of the pilots that were on the crashed Asiana flight 214.

There will need to be some quick answers because not everyone at KTVU can be a fecking idiot surly? Someone needs to be held responsible ASAP.

No joke - these are the names the reporter read out.

The cartoons today are not like they used to be.

I have a son.

He likes to watch cartoons..

Well I think the cartoons of today are crap! I dont think you can call them cartoons even?
They are computer animation bullshite.

What happened to the good old fashioned cartoons of Tom and Jerry or Mickey Mouse etc..

The cartoons today seem a bit babyish? 

I was shocked recently when I caught the new version of 'The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'.

The version of my childhood shits over the current.

BRING BACK REAL CARTOONS!

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She says "What" but then one second later she answers?!

I think she is deaf?

Whenever I ask a question she says 'what?'

I proceed to ask again and she just cuts me off and answers the question...

So am I too quiet?

Is she deaf?

Is she a bit slow so it takes a second to sink before she can answer?

WTF!

Next time I will just pause and wait for my original question to sink in.

The idiot.

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She asked me 'notice anything different?'

I am not very observant.

When I returned home from work she stood in front of me; arms wide apart, asking 'notice anything different?'

In my head I think 'bugger - I really need to try and win this one!'

I look her up and down and I just don't see it..

I know Im in trouble so I at least guess and say - 'New belt?'

No! She says - Ive died my hair a darker shade of Brown! Don't you like it??

It was Brown before - How the hell am I supposed to notice that!?

I just say Yes - It looks nice.

Whats for dinner?

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Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot I only exist when you NEED something.

I have a 'friend' who gives me a call from time to time..

I regularly call him up for general chat, find out how he has been etc..

When he calls me. He asks 'How are you - Can I ask you for a favor'

So he has no interest in how I am.. He didn't even leave a gap for me to answer how I am!

He just wants wants wants.

It might be my fault as I normally lend a hand or try to find the answer to his question.

Either way - next time my answer will be NO!

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We was having an argument and I realized I was wrong

When you're in an argument, and you realize that you're wrong it is one of the worst feelings ever.

I dont like to row.

If I row its only because I know im right.

99% of the time I am right.

The worst thing happened to me last night.

During the argument I realized that I was wrong.

Now I had 2 options.

Accept defeat or continue the fight.

I NEVER accept defeat!

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Edited for TV!

My favorite comedian is Micky Flanagan.

Last year he brought out a DVD for his 'out out tour'. If you havnt watched it yet. Watch it. Its good.

Recently it was shown on TV. It was given a 1 hour slot with adverts meaning only 45 minutes of air time available. This meant half the material was cut.

The only thing that should have been cut was the editor.

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The stupid autocorrect on my Iphone nearly got me into trouble!

My friends dad is in hospital. Its just something minor so he is in for monitoring.

My pal sent me a text -

'My dad should be cleared tomorrow and should be allowed to come home'

My reply -

'I hope he dies'

I WROTE DOES!!

I had to call me friend and explain...

He took it OK but it was a close call.

I hate autocorrect.

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I just wanted to have a relaxing bath..

I played golf this morning.

I got home to an empty house so took my tap top into the bathroom and put some music on.

I run a nice big warm bath and had a soak.

She come home whilst I was in the bath.

She had been out shopping and whilst out; bought our 1 yr old son a new stereo and nursery rhythms CD..

First she complained about the music I was listening too, she she complained about the volume.

Even so; she didnt change it but plonked herself down onto the door (lid down) plugged the stereo in and proceeded to play nursery rhythms as to compete with my music.

My 1 yr old danced for his mummy who was sat on the toilet next to me while I lay in the bath.

The RAGE was building inside me!

All I wanted to do was relax on my own to my own music.

And I now have a rammed bathroom with 2 very conflicting tunes playing.

My son dancing.

The missus clapping and cheering.

Id had enough..

PLEASE GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!

..I want to get out and dry myself on my own please..

'Oooooooh' she said 'whats your problem!'

Needless to see; even if I am on my own in the house. I will be locking that fricking door!

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She says 'I'm Fine'

We had a little 'row'

She was right.

I was wrong.

...so she says...

So I get over it quick enough. But she hasn't said a word in about half hour.

I ask if she is OK and does she want a drink.

I don't want a drink - I'm fine...

Your not fine, what is he problem? We have resolved this now?

I'm fine...

Further few minutes of silence..

I say 'You don't seem fine to me?'

IM FINE!

I think 'WTF!'

She wasn't fine... I just went to bed.

She was fine by the morning.

Women are hard work.

Idiots.

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Just 5 more minutes..

I went out on the pish with a pal.

Rather than getting a taxi; he said lets walk back to his house. Its not that far...

So I agreed.

After walking for half an hour; I asked the question 'Are we nearly there yet'?

Yeah 5 minutes away..

So 10 minutes pass..

I ask again..

Just 5 more minutes..

Another 10 minutes pass.

I say dude WTF!? HOW LONG!!

Just 5 more minutes!

It took us an hour and a half. I found out after it was 5 miles..

At 2am full of beer I was not happy with my friend.

My feet hate him!

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I hate the countdowns!

I have a few different people on my Facebook feed that love a countdown!

Whether it be a party, or a birthday or the birth of a child..

1 month to go!

3 weeks 6 days to go!

2 weeks to go!

etc etc blah blah..

And you then feel relieved its over.....

BUT THEN!

OMG I cant believe it was just yesterday..

Only 2 days ago..

Only a week ago..

etc etc blah blah

WTF!

These people are now deleted.

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She is always looking over my shoulder!

Why when I am on the computer does my missus rush over to see what I'm looking at!?

After so many years together what does she think I'm looking at?

It gets me angry that she thinks I might looking at porn or chatting to girls or whatever?

I do buy a lot of crap from eBay so maybe that's what's she checking?

Either way she is pissing me off and next time she might find the lap top being thrown at her!

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The London Underground is redonculous!

I rarely use the Underground because everyone is crammed in like sardines!

Yesterday I had to use it in the rush hour.

Not only was it busy but it was like 40 degrees on the train!

You could see the sweat dripping off of people!

It stank!

It was crammed full!

I was standing and had someone's stinky sweaty armpit in my face

I hate the Underground.

How hard is it to fit Air-conditioning?

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I wanted everything when I had no money!

I need a couple new T-shirts for work.

Last week I was dragged around the shops with the missus and I see about 10 t-shirts I wanted.
I couldnt buy them because I had no money.

Today I have money. But every T-shirt was crap.

WTF!?

Have all the good clothes been bought up in the last week or are my eyes now clogged with shite?

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Why do people moan if I havnt called them for a while?

I have an idiot friend who I only speak to every couple of months.

I just called him up this morning and he complained about how long it had been since I called him!

Is he a fricking idiot? Does he understand that he can call me?!

I hate him, I might delete his number and let him call me next time..

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I needed a samurai sword to get into that!

I ordered a book online.

It arrived in good time.

I was excited. Honestly.

It came in cardboard packaging.

The clue they used could hold a car together.

It was fricking redonculous!

I used brute strength first.

Then out come the scissors which broke.

I then last resorted to the biggest knife in the drawer.

The packaging still put up a fight but I got to the goods eventually!

Fecking packaging!

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She asked me for my honest opinion!

She wanted to slap me in the face!

She asked for my honest opinion on how she looked in her new dress.

I said do you really want me honest opinion?

She said yes...

So I told her the dress was awful.
I asked if it was the right size?
The colour looked like baby poop.
It was too short.
The shoes didnt go with the dress.

I guess she wanted me to lie?

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Facebook attention seeking!

I hate facebook right now.

It seems some people are having problems.

Rather than sorting them out privately they take to Facebook...

They simply post an unhappy face.    :(

This is just to get attention...

Streams of 'whats up?' 'you ok?' 'chin up' etc etc blah blah bullshite..

Are these people kidding?

I hate them.

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A one word answer?!?

I just sent a mate a long story about my day and how crap its been and well, I guess I just wanted a little sympathy from him.

Something along the lines of-

'You will get over it mate'
or
'Dont worry mate; it will sort itself out'

Anything like these 2 helpful answers would have had me more positive about things.

Instead I got...

'LOL'

I hate him.

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The longest 5 seconds of my life!

.. is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube!

It is most annoying when I am trying to play DJ at a party.

Douche moment.

To be honest 5 seconds is not that long.. especially considering the video owner is creating a video that you want to watch.

I actually click on the ad on videos I like. He gets about 4p..

Same for blogs you read actually.. click on a couple of ads.. the blogger will keep blogging if  few pence is coming their way.

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Why does he think we should all hear him chewing?

My friend is an idiot.

He annoys me when we eat together.

Not only does he eat with his mouth open but he seems to eat very loud.

You can hear the food churning up and its sometimes falls out.

He is disgusting. I think I will either have to force his mouth closed next time or just force a finger into his mouth. The shock may make him think about his actions in future.

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Why does he keep clicking his fecking pen!

My dick head of a colleague is annoying the fecking life out of me!

click click  click click  click click on his pen...!

Why do people do this?!

I have told him to stop and did warn him that if he continues I will be forced to stick his pen up his nose!

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I need to sneeze and my idot colleague stopped me from doing it!

I am a loud sneezer. I don't pretend not to be.

Most people think my sneezing is so loud it must be fake.

Its not fake - I just sneeze loud. Get over it.

But what my bell end of a colleague is now doing is fake sneezing whilst I am trying to get a sneeze out.

It puts me off my sneeze and stops my sneeze.

I like sneezing and I have warned him to stop.

If he does it again he will get my stapler thrown at the side of his head.

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Andy Murray wins Wimbledon

Boring.

Why is my internet speed crap?

I have 60mb fiber optic broadband.

On doing a speed test I do indeed download at 60mb.

But I get no where near that when downloading music or a film? And on some web sites the page take an age to load.

Why is this?

Why is my internet provider lying to me?

I hate them.

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Why do all the old people hate Gays?

I assume there have been Gay people around for 1000s of years?

Is it only recently the Gays have come out then?

Or is it only in recent years thats it has become 'normal' and acceptable?

Because it seems everyone I speak to over about the age of 60 thinks they are wrong?

They think Homosexuality and Lesbianism is a lifestyle choice...

Old people are idiots.

I am not Gay.

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He took my shoe clean off!

It was rush hour and there was a lot of people.

I was walking to the station at a decent pace.

Some idiot behind me seemingly couldn't see my large frame in front of him as he tried to walk through me.

He stepped onto the back of my shoe and took it clean off!

Not only was this fecking annoying but I then had to fight my way through the crowd to find my shoe!

The idiot was lucky he escaped through the crowd as my shoe was going to be thrown at his head!

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Pushed instead of pulled

I was tired OK!

But it didn't stop me from wanting to knock this dick heads block off for laughing at me!

I was tired. I went to the shop. I didn't see the MASSIVE sign on the door. It simply said PULL.

I pushed.. and I nearly too the door off it hinges and I face planted into the glass.

I didn't think it was funny, but the fool inside the shop though it was.

The dick head.

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Her hair clogs the plug hole.

This must be one of the things that angers me most.

I go to have a shower. The water build up around me feet due to the plug hole being clogged with her hair and soap.

Its disgusting but I have swirl my finger around the hole and pull it out.

I normally gag. I think she should be checking this after each hair wash. Why should I have to do it?

I might start collecting it up in a ball and chuck it at her when she is least expecting it!

..which I guess could be at any point of the day! As when would you most expect something like that to happen to you?

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Why do people put LOL! at the end of each sentance?

Are these people retarded? Here are some recent entries from my friends list on Facebook

I am going to the park LOL!

What is funny about this?

I am making curry tonight LOL!

What is funny about this?

I just got a spray tan LOL!

What is funny about this?

Wine tasting booked for Saturday LOL!

What is funny about this?

What a bangtastic day LOL!

What is funny about this?

Retards.

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Ahhhhhhh! There is a song in my head - that I dont know the words to and want to know what it is!

Don't you hate it..

There is a song in my head.

I have heard it a few times and I like it.

I don't know it enough to remember any words from it.

All I can remember is in the video a dude is singing. And there is a chick was a guitar.

Its not Taylor Swift and that ginger fellor either!

Ahhhhhhh!

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My favorite film is missing and has been replaced by Childrens nursery ryhmes.

WTF!

I had an evening in on my own as the missus was out with the girls.

This meant I could watch whatever film I liked without us together agreeing on some crap rom-com.

I go to my DVD collection and picked out Django Unchained which I think you will agree is an awesome film but perhaps to 'bloody' for some chicks..

I pulled the case from the cabinet with excitement to be hit in the face with disappointment that the disk was missing to be replaced with 'Childrens nursery ryhmes'!!

Who does this! My missus of course..

I was angry. I looked for Django in several childs DVD cases before finally giving up.

I did not find Django - I will get her to go through every case tonight as its her fault.

Oh and yes I had fun singing along to the nursery rhymes that night.

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My shower is an idiot!

Not only did I wake up too early this morning. I woke up with a banging head ache.

I thought a nice long shower would help cure this along with a couple of aspirin.

I turned the shower on only for it to just dribble out.. There was either no pressure behind it or the shower head had over night clogged up for lime scale..

Either way - I hate that shower this morning!

I had no choice but to run a bath, and my bath takes an age to fill up so I just splashed around in a puddle.

So I sit here still with a head ache thinking I have still got to somehow fix the shower... the idiot.

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Is it too hard to turn up on time?

When I make plans, the main part of the plan I like to set first is the date and time.

As an example I say 'lets go to the pub'

Wednesday at 7pm OK. We all agree.

So I turn up at 7pm of course as per the plan we all agreed.

15 mins later 1 friend turns up 'alright mate - on your own?'

YES because I got here at 7 and everybody else is an idiot!

Then gradually more of my idiot friends arrive in their own time.

I then am grumpy for the rest of the eve.

Is standing at the bar on your own; waiting for friends, the most embarrassing thing possible?

Of course im clocking watching holding onto a pint of lager.. Not only does the clock appear to be going backwards but the beer is warming in my hands where I am heating up with internal rage!

If you make plans - stick to them. I can do it - so can you.

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Why do I have to make a coffee for you too?

I work in an office with several people.

We all drink coffee. But we are not robots that drink it at the same time!

So why do offices set themselves up to each take turns making coffee at set coffee drinking points?

Then if someone doesn't want a coffee its a big deal?! NO I DONT WANT ONE YET!

And if 15 mins later you do need one, people have to rush down their coffee down so you can make them another one. I wouldn't mind but they then leave it because they are full of coffee!

I just wish we could make our own cups of coffee when we want it..

Rant over.

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Idiots on the road!

A new law is set to come in about people middle lane hugging. Good!

I'm sick of coming down the road at 70mph and have to pull out into the 'fast lane' just to take someone over doing 50mpg in the middle lane!

Second to this when I am driving in the 'fast lane' some idiot up my ass... So I see a gap and pull in for this person to pass but he follows me into the centre lane?? I speed back up and go back out into the outside lane and he follows me?

This has happened to me 100s of times over the years. Why do people do this? It seems some people like to have a speedy driving partner they like to stay behind? Maybe so that the front person to be a police car/camera spotter?

Idiots.

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It's hot, I'm trying to sleep, the fan is driving me nuts!

She likes it on the swivel on level 3. Not only is it loud but it get a jet blast of air every 5 seconds for about half a second. This is ridiculous. I'm cold for half a second followed by 4 and a half seconds of just being hot listening to the room going around like a tornado.

I say the best way is to fix it on us at level 1. Simples..

we get constant flow, also at a quiet sleep through-able level.

 It's perfect for cooling us down on these summer Eve's..

Ahh and now the next issue arises. My phone is too bright for her to sleep and I should go to sleep.. I wouldn't mind if she hadn't been sleeping through the TV on what seemed to be the loudest setting for about the last 2 hours!!

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Noisy fecking neigbours!

Not only are my neighbours noisy but their friends coming to visit are noisy also!
Maybe these inconsiderate types of people stick together?

To be honest I dont mind the occasional friend visit during the day etc but coming and going at 11pm and beeping the horn and racing away is just not on!

Of course I want to lean out of the window and say something but I would guess my car would appear with a new scratch etc the next time they come over.. How would I ever prove who done it?
So I just keep it bottled in, hope it doesn't wake my kid and just vent it here now..

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Chucked out of the living room because she has a friend over!

Why do I have to go to the bedroom?!

'My' TV, 'My' xBox, 'My' PC are all in the living room!

I think it is secret ploy for me to finally sort my wardrobe out! I must admit I do need to have a good sort through and I could probably get rid of 2 full black sacks worth..

Now do I take them to a charity shop?
Or give to a family member?
Or chuck them out in the bin?

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Why dont people reply to my Skype messages quick enough?

I have a friend who is online all day. He claims to be busy all the time. I dont believe him. I think that he thinks I annoy him. OK so I ask stupid questions and I do send a lot of abuse. But that doesnt mean he should ignore me or take forever to reply!

Not only that; I like to send messages with excitement. I might use a lot of ???? or a lot of !!!! and even through a few smiley faces into the mix all for a 1 WORD ANSWER like 'OK' or 'Yeah'

It doesnt make me happy..

He may read this and I hope it makes him reply to me more swiftly and with more enthusiasm!

That is all I ask from him..

Rant over.

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Why does everything have an 'i' in front of it now?

OK so we got the iMac and iPod...  Sold well so Apple brought out the iPhone and iPad..

Now I see loads of items with an 'i' in front of it!

Granted most are down the sunday market but is this really a selling tool now?

Make something.... put an 'i' at the beginning and its a sure sell?!

On my computer I have iCloud, iTunes, iPlayer

Some other examples I have come across just today..

iCare.. its just a date recovery program but using the 'i' makes it special!
iCarly.. it was on Nickelodeon this morning.. Why the 'i'

Noting these are all lower case 'i's' for some reason??

Even Hyundai's latest cars are called the i10, i20 and i30!




Oh and guess what.... I even named my new blog iGrumpyYoungMen!

I have to keep up with the kids right?

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Why are we so much more noisy when we want to be quiet?!

Why are we so much more noisy when we want to be quiet?!

I do the washing up at home..

Its pretty much my only job as my missus certainly does the majority of jobs around the house.

For some reason I dont do the washing up straight after dinner though, nor just a little while after. I wait until midnight before I go to bed to do it! Why? Im not really sure... Its nots the best way of doing things.
Not only am I tired, but all the food has had some 6 hours to dry itself like concrete on the plates..
It take me twice as long as if i was to do it straight away.

Additional to this I seem to make sooo much more noise when I am trying so carefully to be as quiet as I can be! I seem to drop knifes / smash glasses and then swear out loud at myself for doing these things..

Is it because its just so quiet at midnight and every sound seems louder or it because im tired or is it just down to the fact im tired and therefore drop thing and I am actually louder than normal!?

Hmmm?

Going back to the waiting til midnight - I think it must be some internal power thing. I will NOT do the washing up when she wants me to do it; I will do it when I am ready!
I just wish i was ready straight after dinner so it wasnt on my mind all night and then going through the dred of having to do it with my eyeballs falling out of my head!

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